


Only when I'm sleeping do I see

by KidScrappy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:57:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidScrappy/pseuds/KidScrappy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the second round of the HSO, the theme being: Monster</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only when I'm sleeping do I see

-

You no longer sleep. Instead you spend your nights in the wicker chair by the window, looking up at the stars and trying to find the patterns in them. The warm summer breeze lifts up the hem of your nightgown as it slides across your bare skin.

A soft whisper in the back of your mind in a language so alien, yet so familiar. Calling to you from far, far away.

You turn away from the sky and focus your eyes, long accustomed to the darkness, on the bed on the other side of the room. You spy the shapes of Dave and Terezi, huddled close together despite the heat, the blankets kicked down to the foot of the bed.

You wish you could join them, sleep soundly with the rhythm of their heartbeats next to yours. But you are afraid to surrender yourself to unconsciousness. In your last dreams the gods called out to you, telling you to hurt them, cut them open. It’s been weeks since then, but you are still too frightened to sleep. So you stay awake all night and watch them carefully, to make sure nobody takes them away from you. 

You turn back to the stars and wait for the early morning light to ease your mind before leaving the room to prepare breakfast.

-

By the time Dave and Terezi come down to the kitchen you’re on your third cup of strong, black coffee. 

They sit down at the breakfast bar opposite you and as Terezi stars filling her plate with eggs and sausages Dave shoots you a concerned look. He asks if you’ve already eaten. Just as you are saying you’re not hungry, your stomach lets out a soft growl in protest.

Terezi snickers at that and hands you a slice of toast with a thick layer of strawberry jam. Dave is still staring at you in that worried way of his so you nibble at the corner of the bread and give him a small smile to soothe him. It only seems to work a little.

The food is tasteless in your mouth, like your mouth is full of ash.

-

You are rummaging around in the small room where you keep all of your old things, boxes filled with early attempts at scarfs to cozies of all kinds as you move along.

You find a box with old clothes, your god tier pajamas on top. The orange has faded over the years but the symbol of Light is still as bright as the day you got these. You push the memories of a warm and sweaty hand in yours and the blinding green light away with the box, moving on to the next. 

Your Thorns.

You haven’t seen these in ages and without thinking you reach out to touch them. The magic springs up and crackles under your fingertips. For a moment you feel what it’s like to be a god again.

The whispers turn into singing. The creatures of the Furthest Ring sing of your potential, your beauty, your raw power. They scream out for you to rejoin you and you move your hand away from the Thorn as if you’ve been burned. 

You put the lid back in place as the voices subside once more and vow to never touch the Thorns again.

-

Dave and Terezi are on the couch playing a video game. Dave has kicked off his shoes and his socked feet are resting on the coffee table. Terezi is lying half in his lap and squirms around, trying to distract him from the game. Dave seems undisturbed by her antics and manages to win another round. Terezi bites at his leg in revenge, but he moves out of the way in time, causing her to fall to the floor.

You lean over the edge of the couch and press a kiss to Dave’s temple, that seems to distract him from their game long enough for Terezi to get some points in. 

Dave mumbles something about cheating know-it-alls and breaking his winning streak. You just rest your forehead to his warm cheek and take comfort in his touch. He brings up a hand to touch your hair as Terezi crawls back in his lap and grabs your collar to pull you down into a sloppy kiss instead.

Her lips are raw and chapped and her mouth tastes like the candy she has been eating all day. 

She pulls away and buries her nose in the place where your neck meets your shoulder to take a long whiff of your scent. She removes herself for you so you can look her in the eyes as she tells you that you smell of a deep, dark ocean.

You don’t know how to respond to that.

-

Dave cooks that night, red meat with mashed potatoes and peas. Terezi refuses to even try it until he lets her empty an entire bottle of ketchup on her plate. You cut your food into tiny pieces as they bicker over the necessity of colourful food and you take small bites of your rare steak. You swirl the last drops of red wine in your glass before drinking them. Dave produces the bottle from its place on the side table behind him and pours everyone another glass, which you down as quickly as possible.

After dinner you help Dave with the dishes, drying them off and putting them away as he hands them to you with soapy hands. He asks if you have been getting enough sleep, glancing at the dark circles you know are under your eyes. You wave him off by blaming the heat for your lack of sleep. 

You can’t tell him about the gods still plaguing you so many years since the game ended, especially since you know he still wakes up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, grasping at his throat to make sure he’s still there. 

You don’t want to make him worry more than he already does.

He dries off his hands on the towel you are holding and wraps his arms around you. The gesture surprises you but after a second you bring up your own arms to fold around his back. He whispers a soft “I love you” in your ear and you reply the same way you always do, clinging to his shirt a little and wishing you never had to let him go.

You stand in silence for a while before he breaks the embrace. You slide your hands away from him reluctantly and pick up the towel again as he hands you another plate.

When you have finished he suggests joining Terezi in the living room to watch a movie. You bring the bottle of wine with you.

-

After some fighting over the remote you all settle on a movie and you make yourself comfortable on the couch. Dave has claimed half of it, lying down with his feet in your lap. Terezi has draped herself against your shoulder and is holding your hand. Her sharp nails dragging across your palm. It almost tickles.

In your other hand you hold a fresh glass of wine, bringing it to your lips every minute or so. The alcohol has calmed you down, you almost start to understand your Mother’s constant need for a drink. You stop worrying for a moment and just enjoy being with the two people you love most. You look to your right and notice that Dave has started to doze off. Terezi leans forward a little so she can smell what you are looking at, a playful grin forming on her face. 

As she slides off the couch and moves over to Dave you set your glass down on the coffee table. 

She licks a hot stripe up his neck and he yelps awake, knocking her over and onto him in the progress. At first he tries to wrestle her away from him, before giving in and moving on to softer touches. It takes a while before they realize you are still there, on the other side of the couch. 

They both reach for you simultaneously and drag you down with them, causing all of you to fall in a tangled heap on the floor. You can’t help but let out a laugh when you hit the ground. Terezi is quick to her feet and offers her hands to both of you, dragging you up and towards your bedroom.

-

You lie between them and stare at the shadows on the ceiling.

To your left Terezi has started snoring a little and has her sharp knee jammed into your side. At your right Dave is sleeping as well, his shades forgotten on the bedside table. 

You take a deep breath. The scent of both of them and warm air heavy in the room. The wine has made your head hazy with sleep and you just want to close your eyes for a little while, it has been so long.

You let yourself sink into the welcome arms of sleep and the shadows start crawling.

-

You dream of standing on the battlefield, your Thorns held to your sides and the near endless possibilities of magic yours for the taking. Dark tendrils crawl up your arms and wrap themselves around you. You watch the shadows play on your grey fingers and can’t help but smile, it has been so long.

You lift your arm, expecting it to be heavy with the cold darkness. You lift it with ease, stretching out towards the sky. Slowly you rise from the ground, the drum of magic steady in your heart and loud singing in your ears. You succumb to the feeling and let the darkness hold you.

Something below you catches your eye, a flash of red. You lower yourself to see what is disturbing your reuniting with the dark gods.

Or, as it turns out, who.

Dave and Terezi stand in front of you. Dave’s face speaks of fear and doubt, but most of all confusion. His hand twitching, as if he is reaching for a sword that is no longer there. You recall he has never seen you going grimdark and you wait anxiously for his reaction. Next to him Terezi’s face is scrunched up, trying to place your smell. As soon as she realizes what is happening her eyes widen behind her glasses. She takes a step forward to protect Dave and turns her head to the side to speak to him.

You reach out an arm to silence her.

A tendril of shadows reaches out from behind you and you dream of killing them.

You lift Terezi up by her throat, holding her in front of you. Your white-hot eyes burn into her red ones. Tears stream down her cheeks as your grip tightens. You lean forward to catch her last breath in a kiss as her life leaves her before throwing her down to the side like a ragdoll.

Turning your attention back to Dave you find him fighting against more of the tentacles, trying to reach both of you. You laugh at his foolishness, and it comes out as a garbled sound. 

You send another tendril his way, reaching into his chest. He tries to jerk away from you, his shades falling to the ground and shattering. His eyes widen in pain as you crack one of his ribs, and another, and another.

You are slowly folding him open as he bleeds his pretty red all over the floor around you. You shove aside his lungs and reach for his heart, wrapping your hand around it and digging in your nails. 

You think you can hear someone scream.

-

You wake up.

You are standing at the foot of the bed and look at what you have done. Terezi’s limp body is thrown half-hazardly across the bed, her arm hanging off the side. You can see the marks of suckers on the already cold skin of her throat. You start to reach for her before you remember Dave.

You turn his way for just a second before you have to look away, suppressing the urge to vomit. Above the mess that used to be his body you could clearly see his face, contorted in pain and his mouth wide open in a silent scream.

You sink down to your knees in a pool of his blood and bury your face in your hands.

You let the gods take you away.


End file.
